My experience with motherhood is that it comes with unexpected joys, thrills and times of complete madness. I remember feeling confused when my sweet baby was born. After about a week of sleepless nights, weird hormonal changes and having no idea what I was doing, I thought to myself–when will life go back to “normal?” Little did I know, it took me about a year to feel normal again. And since then, I have learned a thing or two about finding joy in motherhood.
I learned that the relationship with my husband would change; and that’s okay. In fact it was a great thing. Our relationship became deep and meaningful. Not that it wasn’t before, but to put it bluntly, our relationship became less about pure physicality and more about genuine attraction, devotion and complete companionship. I found joy in this change. Together we found joy in raising a child. We discovered the layers to our relationship were all very different and brought different levels of joy to our lives. One side to our relationship was being responsible parents, that worked as a team to raise a child. The other aspect of our relationship is completely our own; one that no one else is truly a part of. It is an intimacy that grew from our existing friendship.
I find joy in being two again. Some of my best days as a mother is when I think like a two year old; and I’m not talking about the tantrum throwing, nay saying attributes of a two year old. I’m talking about the innocent, fun seeking, tender hearted qualities. My son and I have so many adventures together. That’s how we learn. He learns about animals and colors, while I learn how to be intelligent enough to competently speak to a toddler.We do little things like swim in the kiddie pool or chase each other at the park. We also do big things like hike in Yellowstone and travel to new places. We play silly games and ignore housework. We watch the same movie over and over again, just because. We talk about boogers and poop and smelly feet. Those are the fun, joyful moments that bring me back to my childhood. I forget about my big, heavy adult responsibilities and enjoy the simplicity of being two.
I find joy in seeking guidance. Something that has always intrigued me is the diversity of family dynamics. What works for one family can create complete chaos in another family. After Beckham was born I joined multiple parenting groups on Facebook. I enjoy reading posts that give advice, ask for help or simply give virtual high fives to every parent working hard to keep their family happy and healthy. I have learned a lot from these groups. I also seek guidance from my family and friends. These are the people who I love, so I watch them with their own families. I pay attention to their language, their actions and their overall attitude. Being raised as an only child left me feeling clueless when my son graduated from infancy into toddlerhood, so this approach has helped me tremendously.
Last but not least, I seek spiritual guidance. It is important to me that our home has an “open door policy.” When Beckham came into this world I wanted him to know that our home is open to God and love and goodness. It is open to diversity and critical thinking. It is open to prayer and divine power. This concept has truly been the greatest influence in finding joy in motherhood. Our open door policy has helped us discover who we are as individuals (which is especially important in parenthood), but it has also helped us discover our own, unique parenting style. We’ve used our belief in God to fuel our hearts and minds with love in our daily lives. It has helped us create a beautiful life that we love.
Overall, I believe that we can find joy by creating joy. Create a life that you love, and joy will follow. Motherhood is a beautiful experience, if only we allow that joy to infiltrate through us and into our families. Life is what you make it, Mommas. Create a joyful one!
Originally Posted on The Baby Cubby //PC: Brooke Richardson & Jaimee Young